Archive for the ‘Las Vegas’ Category
I Write About Las Vegas
I picked up a writing gig a few years ago writing about Las Vegas. I lived there until April of 2009. I wrote a few posts for a blog about shopping in Vegas, free things to do and several other posts. It was an enjoyable experience to write about the place in which I lived. Refer to the following links to view my writings:
The Fremont Street Experience and Downtown Las Vegas
Two Las Vegas Clubs, Two Different Flavors
Listen Up, Las Vegas
I drive about an hour a day in this city…30 minutes to and 30 minutes from work. I try to make it a point not to drive much more than that…at least not outside of my “region” of town. Why? Because you people drive like maniacs!!!
I could make an endless list of areas in which you fail to exhibit cognitive and intelligent driving skills on a daily basis. I will now take this opportunity to
demonstrate your stupidity. Give heed to the following tips:
- Learn what “right-of-way” is and when you do and DO NOT have
it.
- First, learn when and where to merge, then join all the other morons in turn signal school.
- When I am turning right on green, it is NOT okay for you to turn left on green ANYWHERE NEAR ME. I will put a large dent in your vehicle and then you will buy
me a new car.
- When I look in my rear view mirror, and all I can see is your hood emblem, YOU ARE TOO CLOSE, STUPID. Learn about safe following distance, and how important it is for you to use it when you are being “RAM tough” or “Humming”. Why? Because you will plow into my small, fairly economical car…and then YOU will buy me a new one. That is, if I am not hurt, maimed, or otherwise no longer in need of said car.
- You know, if I happened to miss the exact millisecond when the traffic light changes, do NOT honk your horn at me. Your mother should have taught you that is rude and you are acting like an impatient child. Wherever you are going will be there when you get there, so SHUT UP.
- You can flip me off all you want. I will blow you kisses.
- ARGH! When you are riding a bicycle, DO NOT ride on the street unless it happens to be one of those areas of town where you have your own little lane. I know, I know…bicycles are supposed to follow the same traffic laws as cars, and you have every right to be on the street, but EVERYONE ELSE ON A BIKE USES THE SIDEWALK EXCEPT FOR YOU, MAN!!!
- When I have one car length of space in front of me. THAT IS NOT FOR YOU AND YOUR
STUPID SUV THAT I CAN’T SEE AROUND. That is me exercising safe following distance. Look and Learn.
- If I let the car in front of you in, that doesn’t automatically mean that I will let you in as well and to force your big SUV in that close to my small, fairly
economical car is RUDE…and you didn’t even throw up a wave or anything. Well, you are NOT welcome.
- Executing a U-turn from the far right turn lane is about 7 shades of illegal. You are really asking for that dent in the side of your vehicle.
- Creating parking spaces is illegal. If you are too lazy to walk across the parking lot…it’s a problem. Some of you could really use multiple walks across the parking lot, myself included…too much cheap casino food, I guess.
- DO NOT stop in the middle of traffic on a three-lane road to let someone turn across. Individuals in the other two lanes cannot and do not want to read your mind. You have just loosed an idiot driving sideways across traffic. Accidents will ensue.
- Driving like a bat out of Hades and weaving in and out of lanes is not going to get you there any faster. Leave 30 minutes early. Whatever it is, will be there when you arrive.
- Drunk driving is for the ultimate moron. Unless you aspire to be one, I suggest you make travel arrangements.
Article originally posted in October of 2007 on waxingpoetic75.com
Photo: jparise from Flickr under Creative Commons